I am crying as I write this blog today, because my sister is so important to me. Thinking back at our childhood and all the things we have been through as the “oldest sisters”, we managed pretty well.
Why the tears? Well, she is forty! Isn’t that worth crying about? LOL. No, in seriousness I don’t know what my life would be like without her. She has been the calm after the storm and a voice of reason at times when I am out in the deep end. Not all times have been easy or even pleasant and we have went months without talking however one thing always binds us hard. Like cement with reinforced steel…. our belief in Christ.
she has everything she wants
What do you give someone on their 40th birthday who potentially has what she already wants? Well, my heart, on paper. Jaylene continues to show her heart more and more on her sleeve and her opinions and beliefs out for the world to see. I don’t take credit for this at all, however just like her influence on me to withdraw a bit, she has stepped up to help me say things through her and I bet she didn’t even know it!
I spent a lot of time in my life trying to protect and teach and mentor my sister. Yet I think it is her who is doing this for me! She is so capable to shut down an audience of gossip or mistruth, she can pivot a conversation and she can so eloquently pretend “everything is fine” when we all damn well know it is NOT!
deep memories
The memories I have are so deep and meaningful with Jaylene. She sat with me on the couch for days (popping over) with her lap top and work on her lap, while I recovered from an accident. She brought me a gift the first year anniversary of the accident not that I needed a gift, yet she said to me “this was life changing and should be remembered”. I am bawling right now as I write this because, this was a day I could have lost my whole family and I would NEVER want to leave Jaylene here in this evil world.
just the other day
She pops into my head on rough days, when I think about how life could be cut short. When depression sinks in so deep that you don’t know what to do, my sister usually flashes before my eyes. I have to protect her and not leave her here alone and drive away to “Timbucktoo”… * I am sure I spelled that wrong. I don’t “protect” her so to speak but when you have the same heavenly Father the relationship is stronger and the level of care seems different. It is like leaving someone to the wolves if you are not there with them to fight them off. (I hope that doesn’t sound too weird), I am sure she does not have wolves ready to devour her physically. The deceiver is ready to pounce at any time and I just want to be there for her when he does!!
survival instinct
This girl has a fire in her to survive, she works non-stop not because she loves to everyday, I see in her … Do not fail, do not stop… survive and protect. She thrives on helping others succeed and has joy when she can watch someone else reach their goals. This is more than just money in the bank! She cheers on anyone for any goals they have, self development, weight-loss, health, family life… anything.
she doesn’t walk alone
Jaylene also knows what is important, her self reflection to know what is truly important is at the core of her being. She knows without a doubt, her walk with God has to be priority. It is tough to be a person who works in this human-serving world and walk with God. We do not always have “time” or “energy” to serve God let alone remember Him, because the world takes over! However, the tid-bits of time Jaylene carves out to speak about her savior is not going unnoticed!
she is the gift
My sister is more than a blood relative; she is my sister in Christ. I wish her the best 40th birthday and my gift to her is deeper than any material object in this world. There is nothing I can give her that she has not already given me. These memories and our walk with God is our mutual gift. I hope we can open it up each day together. *** I feel a goal coming on***
who doesn’t want pickles?
And…. of course I will go into my cold room and bring her a jar or two of home made pickles. Who doesn’t want that on their 40th?
