I remember going shopping one day with a friend and being struck with elation! Secretly, I had been talking to Jesus in the car about my singledom. Then, God took a huge fear away, instantly.
boyfriend depression
I had been single and navigating boyfriend relationships to no avail. Overcome with feelings of depression and telling myself I was pretty disfunctional as a single woman. There was a part of me that wanted to run away or fall asleep, only to awake to a new life, with my new husband!
There was little joy in my life and even really great vacations with my kids felt like I was missing something. I wanted my ‘other half’ to be able to share experiences of joy with. Share all the fun the kids and I were having together.
someone grow old with me
I longed for a companion, my future husband I could grow old with. There were many wonderful people who came into my life, however after the passion had fizzled out I really didn’t have much hope for marriage. Often I would joke with my friends and say, “I spend a year figuring out if they are the ‘one’ and a year figuring out how to break it off.”
lonely temptations
Being alone was one of the hardest things for me. I hated being lonely. I always wanted to be wanted and desired. These shallow temptations kept me dating, often the wrong people.
he is ‘out there’
One day I was hit hard by the Lord, when He spoke to my heart. The sun was so bright that day and I swear my friend in the passenger side of the car must have thought I finally ‘snapped’. I started to laugh and say “Oh man can you believe HE is out THERE?! Can you believe it?! God has him out there waiting for me!”
I was laughing and giddy- like a spark was lit up in me and I started to tear up. Finally, I TRUSTED God! I heard God tell me that the man he has for me is out there, and perfect, just for me!
let God choose, not me
When this happened, I no longer felt shame or guilt for my past. I felt a new freedom. I didn’t have to accept mediocre, just to “see”. If I was picky before with who I dated, this took things to a whole new level. Only who GOD would CHOOSE for ME would be acceptable!
My checklists didn’t stop, or my desire for companionship. What God did was took my fear of the process away. He gave me comfort knowing He has the perfect companion out there for me as long as I trust HIM!
no fear
So, no more “dates” just “to see”! I waited for my husband. This was the longest stretch without ‘dating’ and it was not easy. However, the fear of being alone for the rest of my life was gone!
when God spoke, I knew
I knew when I met my husband that he was the one for me. It wasn’t sparks of passionate romance, it was a gentle whisper from God. He spoke to the foundation of my soul and matched me with the person I would grow old with. (It didn’t happen that fast for my husband though LOL).
Wait for Mr.Right. Do not accept Mr. Right Now. God has His pick for you, trust Him. It is similar to the old WWJD! I would change it to Who Would Jesus Pick!
