Let’s start off by clarifying that I am not wearing a Hijab to announce a new style I think is cool. I am not wearing a Hijab because I am Muslim. These hot, tight pieces of cloth and elastic and pins represent huge sacrifice. There is nothing special about walking into a middle eastern country wearing this head covering. In fact it is expected in most areas. It is a sign of modesty and religious practise and many women are forced to wear it. If they don’t could receive punishment or at the very least social isolation.
know it’s there
I have only worn this covering for a little over an hour and my chin is itchy, my head feels heavy. I am wondering how women do their daily lives with this on their head? Anyone who knows me, knows that I am continually pulling my hair up into a messy bun. I constantly try to get my hair off my face, and this hijab feels like heavy hair that I can’t pull up. This covering definitely lets you know it’s there.
rule based religion
When I am in deep contemplation about how I am actually showing the world that I love God, many times I wish it was more visible. If I could only have a sign or a t-shirt, I long for more. I live and work in an environment in our western culture that if I were to wear a head covering many people would say I am Muslim. I could just see it now, white girl selling Real Estate, running a business and a farmers wife. This hijab wearing woman would quite possibly make headlines on many people’s social feeds. It could ultimately ruin my business and friendships. People would unfollow me and some other Christians would say I should stop insulting God, with my oppressive, rule based religious practise.
what am I willing to sacrifice?
The level of sacrifice that these pieces of cloth would inflict, are more than I am willing to pay right now. God is the only reason I have been able to get through many heartaches in my life. Yet, I am not willing to wear a piece of cloth for Him.
The head covering is biblical, however many people choose to dismiss the scripture and place contextual premise on it. Many scholars, theologians, priests and ministers have differing opinions on 1 Corinthians 11. Some say God was only talking to the people of the day. And they do not correlate it to todays time. Others say it is speaking about modesty, directly talking to women about not being sexually attractive. In prayer, in practise and in my heart I know this head covering is hard for me, because of vanity and possible social ramifications. I am concerned about losing friends or affecting my business. This fear is seems more than I am willing to sacrifice for a stronger relationship with Christ.
joy & fear
As hot and heavy as this covering is, I am calmed. I am reminded physically that Christ is my covering. I know many of you will be shocked to know that I have been drawn to head covering since grade nine. The Lord has been at work in my heart and always asked me to stand apart and shine His love. This my friends is a calling I have yet to adhere to fully. It was a few years ago that I learned that head covering was actually in scripture. And I remember that moment when tears of joy and fear hit me simultaneously like a ton of bricks.
is this biblical?
I was sitting in the parking lot of my favorite coffee shop, and I heard God speak to me, just as He has done since I was nine. He clearly stated that I am to listen to Him, “Cover your head and stand apart”. For some reason I immediately went to Google and searched “Is head covering in the Bible?” You would have thought that in the past 30 years I would have done this research. But I assumed head coverings were Muslim or some other religious practise. Like any good researcher, I had to check the truth of what God was saying with Google… Then it popped up! There it was, clear as could be;
1 Corinthians 11.
check myself in prayer*
My friend was parked next to me and I ran out of my car, tears in my eyes and I had to tell her what just happened. She asked me to check myself in prayer and if God is asking something of me, I should listen. Prayer it was. All day long prayers would be whispered to God in between my busy real estate business. Still the same answer; “Cover your head and stand apart.”
relief
I assure you that after much discussion with my husband and my closest friends the decision to not wear a head covering in public was relief to my physical walk on this earth. However my heart still yearns to head cover as a physical reminder that Christ covers me.
it doesn’t always make sense
Hiding my faith is easy in the western world we live in. I do it everyday in some way or another. Hiding from God is a different story. What He asks of us is not always easy and it doesn’t always make sense. When I didn’t listen to Him I got exactly what I wanted. And it seemed to be the easier path at the time, yet turned out to be a painful journey.
Today I choose my physical walk on this earth to be easy, tomorrow may be different.
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Tomorrow may indeed be different ! We had a plan this next week to have a visit with some friends. He died this Monday night in his sleep. We never get used to loosing people and pets .
Donna that is just so sad. I am sure more than ever that life can turn in a blink, as you already have experienced. Its reassuring to know Christ has control. Its His plan and i know in the end its His why, not ours that matters.Thank you so much for reading my blog! I feel so supported.